Impostor syndrome

Being selected as an Outreachy intern among thousands of applicants can make one feel very lucky—too lucky if not properly managed. This feeling can quickly metamorphosize into doubt, anxiety, and a lack of confidence when the job starts, especially in the software engineering industry.

Impostor syndrome is a psychological pattern in which a person doubts their skills, talents, or accomplishments and persistently fears being exposed as a “fraud.” Despite external evidence of their competence, those experiencing impostor syndrome remain convinced that they do not deserve the success they have achieved. They often attribute their success to luck, timing, or deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent and capable than they believe themselves to be.

Characteristics of impostor syndrome

There are some common characteristics associated with impostor syndrome some of which will be discussed below;

• Perfectionism: The feeling of wanting your work to be perfect to the point that you find fault in your achievements and are rarely pleased with the outcome. Setting excessively high goals and feeling like a failure when unable to achieve them.

• Fear of failure: Making any form of mistake (big or small) can cause a very sinking feeling exacerbating the fraud feeling. As a result, you often work harder to avoid falling short of a task. Fear of failing can overshadow the reality that failing is a part of the learning process and making mistakes can be a good thing if one learns from them.

• Undermining Achievements: With impostor syndrome, it’s easy to dismiss accomplishments as not being a big deal or as being due to external factors. It makes you ignore or deflect anything good that happens or any praise you receive.

Handling impostor syndrome

In my last meeting with my mentor, I brought up this topic and asked how he handles this feeling. He mentioned a number of helpful techniques, and this will be the basis of what will be discussed.

Everything is a process

When you open the Git mailing list, it can be quite overwhelming to see the huge number of very technical patches that have been mailed and the highly technical discussions that have taken place all through the patch series. This can be a lot, especially for a new beginner; however, according to my mentor, many of those patch series have been in play for months, and some are up to a year. So it is important to understand that the contributors have probably gone through a lot of struggles and scrutiny before mailing those shiny patches.

Having at the back of one’s mind that it takes a lot of process, learning, dedication, and hard work to achieve a finished product can help manage expectations and impostor syndrome.

You’re not expected to know all

Using the concept “you’re not expected to know all” can be a powerful tool. Understanding that no one, no matter how accomplished, knows everything can be very helpful in managing impostor syndrome. Accepting that there is a learning gap between where one currently stands and where one wants to be can be very helpful. Recognizing that each experience, including moments of not knowing something, is an opportunity to learn and grow.

Seeking support and asking for help is another crucial strategy. Asking questions when you don’t understand something. This shows a desire to improve and is not a sign of weakness. Utilizing available resources such as colleagues, mentors, and online resources to fill knowledge gaps. Knowing when and how to seek help can alleviate the pressure of feeling like you should know everything. This was particularly true when my mentor walked me through the Git test infrastructure. I learned things I didn’t even know I needed to learn, which was very helpful.

Start Small, take easy wins

Taking on too many things at the start of a project can be overwhelming and detrimental to its success. This can lead to procrastination due to fears of starting. Also, the inability to solve large complex problems often kills one’s confidence, which causes projects to fail. It is very important that one breaks up large problems into small, easy, and manageable issues. This makes the project more focused and easy to solve.

According to research, achieving small goals releases dopamine in the brain, which is associated with feelings of pleasure and motivation (Shohamy & Adcock, 2010). These easy wins are valuable as they contribute significantly to one’s confidence to take on harder issues and overall progress and help establish a pattern of success. My mentor emphasized that I selected only the easiest unit test scripts in the Git project for my first round of Clar conversions, stating how important this can be in boosting one’s confidence.

Summary

In the end, everyone struggles, particularly at the start of a new project they are unfamiliar with. This can lead to fear of failing or feeling like a fraud and procrastination. It is important to know that it’s all a process, and you aren’t expected to know it all. Ask questions regularly and close learning gaps; start small, and take on easy problems to get easy wins and boost confidence to tackle more complex issues.